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28 December, 2011

its really heartbreaking :(

my lil ain darwisyah :-))


you can call me whatever you like
you can judge me whatever you wishes
when you read through this entry
but in bottom of my heart
Allah knows well !!

semalam aku bagitau kak ain

"ain,mama tak dapat teman ain 1st day kat kindy nanti--tp aunty ezan ada"

alah...tahun lepas pun mama x tunggu
sumer mama orang lain datang tunggu anak2 dia tau

"tahun lepas mama dah amik cuti tapi sekolah ain yang mula lewat dpd waktu sekolah lain..tahun ni mama sayang cuti--mama kalo boleh nak simpan cuti utk emergency-x mau jadi macam tahun ni..sampai habis cuti mama pasal hal2 kecemasan..ain sakit, adik sakit,papa sakit, mak tok sakit..cuti mama bukan banyak sangat tau...kita simpan cuti utk hal yang penting sahaja ok "

alah...seharik jer..nape mama nak sangat  keja situ ?

"alah..dah itu rezeki mama-mama dulu pun xde sapa teman..pandai2 lah bawak diri...

terus menarik muncung sedepa anakku itu

i dont know how to tell her this
sometimes its really hard to make her understand
its real life that she must go through
with her working mom that try her level best
to accomodate between family & her career
to ensure both side is equally serve as best as i can

please dont judge me
unless you were on my shoes
i want to be a good mom to her
at the same time i want her to be independent
step on her own foot
get tougher enough to stand the real world later on

sooner or later
may one day she understand

it's not easy to be ME
it's not easy to get whatever we wanted to

deep inside
hopefully she will know

i loves her more than everything
and the feeling will never change : '(

4 comments:

kucingorengemok said...

mak saya letak saya kat gate sekolah je masa darjah 1, takde pun hantar ke kelas ... tak pernah pun rasa dia tak sayang

so relaks! :)

secangkir madu merah said...

ada budak suka dihantar dan ditunggu dan ada juga yg sebaliknya.. mungkin utk hari pertama ain berharap sgt mamanya dpt menghantar dan melihat dia masuk ke kelas... kesihan dia, korbankanlah cuti setengah hari ke lynn

Mixed-family in da house.... said...

Sy pon x hntr anak 1st day , umur 3 thn, walaupun dia menangis time tuh. Mmg kena cekal hati jerk, walaupun sbnrnya luluh rasa hati.Tp sbb nk ajar diorg berdikari. Tp malam2 sebelum tido, siap explained knape buat camtu. Alhamdulillah 2 ari jer nangis, pastu dh ok gi sekolah.

Mixed-family in da house.... said...

Sy pon x hntr anak 1st day , umur 3 thn, walaupun dia menangis time tuh. Mmg kena cekal hati jerk, walaupun sbnrnya luluh rasa hati.Tp sbb nk ajar diorg berdikari. Tp malam2 sebelum tido, siap explained knape buat camtu. Alhamdulillah 2 ari jer nangis, pastu dh ok gi sekolah.